Teary KTV Song
我的爸爸妈妈毛毛公仔 从前极度美丽
不过人大个了 抱它 不够实际
从前温莎 原来竟这样贵
现在要喊 谁为我解围 谁在呵护 安慰
从前曾习惯 不停叫「爸爸 妈妈」
一个人倦了 总想到家
何时又再坐在臂内 抱我饮茶
原来大个了 要很高代价
为何还做我的妈妈 如老友好吗
请顾问细诉我 要怎么找到她
捱世界 好玩吗 人情世故 凶险吧
求你告诉我 不算可怕
从前很想 提前独立多好
不要谁来教我 自己 总会用脑
毛毛公仔 原来始终恨抱
外面世界 谁为我操劳 凭甚么做 得到
世面宁愿不了解 留在这家中最大
往日年纪很细 最要关怀
有怪莫怪 只怪
我已踏进 大人的世界
捱世界 好玩吗 人情世故 凶险吧
求你告诉我 不算可怕
Security Blankets
This term 'security blankets' came up in one of the MSN chats with Mr. M.
For those who've been to my house, my SBs are hard to be forgotten; For those who saw my tiger during the Japan training period, well, it's still around on my bed.
Each of them has an interesting story...
Tiger: With me since I was 3 years old. It was originally my brother's, and I couldn't help but 'steal' it away from him every time he's not watching. We actually had those childish contracts stating "I promise to lend Tiger to my Sis for 2 weeks".
If you look closer at Tiger's neck area (don't think anyone will be willing or interested though), you'll see some signs of repair. Culprits: my bro and me-- we'd grab Tiger and have a tug-of-war to see who gets it.
Ssszzzzt.
Tiger's neck torn...
OUCH.
So it's time for my Mum to practise her sewing skills, on a tiger softtoy. After several 'operations', Tiger's neck is beyond repair... But it's still around! It always is-- Tiger's always the friend I can turn to. It's one I can tell all my secrets, boring stuff, and crazy thoughts to, and keep them a secret.
Garfield: Early January, 1992. Got home after school one day to find a Garfield softtoy in the living room. It's a birthday present my parents got for my bro. It just looked sooooo cute that I can't help (again) but kept playing with it.
3 days later... Got home, and there's another Garfield softtoy! My parents' plan was to get it for me for my birthday in Febraury. To them, it's better to get it NOW and let me and my bro hug one Garfield each than to let me pester my bro to let me play with HIS present.
~The one on the left's my bro's. Mine's the poor thing on the right.~
Wormmie: According to 'historical records'-- Wormmie came into the family when I was 3 years, making it the same age as Tiger. My parents won the 2nd prize in 4D then, and decided to get my bro and me a nice present each. We're not a very well-off family with loads of spare cash, so it's a big deal for me.
My Dad still remembers-- Wormmie's cost them $49.90. Mind you, $50 20 years ago was a big amount, and a ridiculous price for a toy. But, Worrmie is still in excellent condition, the smile on its face always bright and nice.
~They're only 3 years younger than me. Woah~
Bear Bear: The 80th Anniverary School Bear of my Sec Sch. Really cute bear in our famous white sleeveless uniform. Almost all the girls ordered a bear because the price was very reasonable and it's such a special occassion.
The bears were placed on the main desk and I don't know why, but I saw Bear Bear in one corner. It had that sparkle in its eyes that not all the others had. I know some of you are labelling me as CRAZY, but it's something I felt-- I want THAT bear; no one else can get it but me. I WANT IT.
You might call them stinky, useless softtoys that should have been thrown away long ago; to me, they're good friends I go home to everyday. No matter how bad my mood is, I never take it out on them. There was a short period of time in my Poly days when I was extremely easily irritated-- I would throw books, pens, files and even my handphone around the room to vent my frustration. One thing I never thought of throwing was my stinky tiger and gang.
Silly? Yeah, it's kinda dumb for me to hang on to toys which are of no practical value. But one man's junk's another's treasure. Each of them brings a happy memory of the various stages of my life.
They're my weakness. And I'm happy to let them be.
It's The Makeup
On my previous flight-- some Osaka-base Japanese crew commented that I look like a Japanese. To be more specific-- a Japanese from the northern part of Japan, like Hokkaido.
Okay.
Then on my next leg, some Tokyo-base Japanese crew asked if I'm half-Japanese.
No.
It's all in the makeup. Just pile on the mascara, make sure the eyebrows are in good shape, more of those sparkling eyeshadow, some lasting blusher, more glitter on the lips and THERE YOU HAVE IT.
Anyone can look good.
Not much relevance; just wanted to post a picture of me in uniform. (That was me when I just got short hair a couple of months ago.) Picture's nice, except for me half-blinking my eyes...
Time flies. Ouch. I just poked myself there.
Turning 24 in 3 weeks' time.
Winter Casual Wear
Here's me with my new short(er) hair.
And yah, that's how I dress when I go out to the shopping centre in Narita this winter. Some girls have those pretty coats and high-heel boots. Erm.. I'm happy with this hooded darling.
Eyes to the camera!
Oops. Shaky hands.
See that cow? (Not me! The one on the t-shirt!) Bought that t-shirt from my Bangkok trip in December.
Cute little thing-- Cow drinking milk...
A Comfortable Distance
You know this feeling-- when someone gets too close to you physically, you will automatically and very quickly back off to a comfortable distance.
Now I have a scientific explanation why I'm single for so long-- my 'comfy distance' is HUGE. Maybe it has to do with me being the youngest in the family, with me having my own room since young, with me being alone a lot in my job...
I'm not those kind of touchy-feely girls you see on the streets. I don't grab my friends' hands when I get too happy or excited talking about something; and I'm not a big supporter of crossing arms with my girls.
Fine. I'm too independent, selfish, confident, proud (and whatever) to let others get into my 'comfy distance' range.
Why should I?
Someone breathing down your neck and giving all sorts of opinion right next to your ear almost every moment you're with them? I'll pass.
A lot of people know me as a 'crowd' person. I can be one-- as long as I have my own space in the crowd.
No wonder I hate going to town on weekends-- I don't even have enough space to walk, let alone with my shopping bags.
Explained.
Nothing Ever Changes
嘿 不要不开心
我不是要离去
只是那来自远方呼唤的声音
要我 去探头看看生命窗外的风景
我去去就来 你别红眼睛
My Love 原谅我太好奇
但世界太绮丽
我怎么能不一一去经历
否则我一定会恨死我自己
Nothing ever changes
请快乐等待
等我绕一圈回来
还会是那个爱你的女孩
一样很容易
感动感谢感慨
你给我的爱 我永远爱
My love 要不是你给我
那巨大的勇气
怎么会这样相信我可以
随着 梦想留下美丽的足迹
串成了故事 带回来送你
我答应你
等我看够美景
就回来
交给你一颗更丰富的心
~~~~
现在的我，看了很多美丽的风景。
我所带回来的，不只是一些漂亮的照片，还有留在心里的难忘回忆。
很多人，很多地方，很多事情-- 也许我这一辈子再也不可能碰到，但是，我还是很感激老天爷，让我有过这个机会。
我很满足了。人，就应该在觉得满足的时候，懂得和舍得放下。
放下了以前一直捧在怀里的事物，才可以去迎接更新、更刺激、更具挑战性、更让我期待的新领域。
现在的我，很轻松，很快乐。
Third Last Flight
Nothing special to pack again. My cargo's getting lighter with every flight.
Emotionally, there's not much change. Maybe the fact that I've tendered my resignation has yet to set in. Maybe I'm just too busy bothering myself with other matters to realise the 'pain' of leaving this job soon.
Sometimes I wonder what do others do after they've confirmed their last flights-- Do they go crazy shopping? Meeting up with fellow colleagues? Or just resting in the hotel rooms, planning what to do after?
I'm going to do a little of each this trip.
Shall do some stocking-up at Matsumoto, meet RJ for lunch/dinner, and be a potato in my room.
Am I pathetic? I don't think so. I'm just doing things the way I want. I didn't ask you to acknowledge my 'cabin crew farewell lifestyle' and you don't have to.
Buzz off, you bozos.
Rainy Saturday Afternoon
Went to my Godmum's place last afternoon. Every year before Chinese New Year, she'll give me some cash to 'get new clothes for the new year'.
It's still the case this year. The attempts to reject on the basis that I've already started working failed.
There's 2 parties I can never get angry at-- my tiger & gang, and my Godmum.
Some things change. Some never.
Breathe, Dear, Breathe
It seems like I'm always telling others to breathe when they're feeling upset, nervous or angry about something. Forgot that-- I myself need to breathe deeply once in a while too.
Here's what's been bothering me--
-- My new job's medical checks are not cleared
-- I have less than a month before the training is scheduled to start.
-- I'm not sure if I can pass the medical checks
-- I didn't want to tender (although I did this afternoon) my resignation at my current company before the new job is confirmed.
-- I am always not around to attend the checkups.
-- I worry about missing calls, messages or emails from the new company when I'm abroad or on flight.
-- My mom still thinks that I shouldn't tender before a new job confirmation.
-- My bro's telling me and my mom that his friend who's in the job hates it, and I should think hard before joining.
-- My plans to pass the medical in early January, sign the training treaty, tender, and go for a vacation are all impossible.
-- I have a huge ulcer.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Resignation Tendered
To some, it's an impulse action. To some, it should have been done long ago.
Whatever you may feel when you read or hear about this, I've tendered my resignation to the airline this afternoon.
The whole process took about 2 to 3 minutes.
Me: (Knock Knock) Hi! (Walked in) Eh, Boss not in today?
Office person: You here to tender is it?
Me: (Dry laughs) Haha. Yes.
Office person: Just give it to me. So when's your last day?
Me: Erm, one month from now.. so 19th?
Office person: (Checked the computer for my February schedule) So when do you want to stop?
Me: (Looked at schedule) Then.. I'll stop on 11th. That's the day I return from a flight. Then use AL for the remaining days.
Office person: Ok. Can liao.
Me: ... ... So that's all?
Office person: Yah.
Me: Okay, thanks!
That's it. That was the first time I prepared a resignation letter and presented it. At least I didn't have to do the awkward "Errr... I'm here because I want to tender" speech.
After I got out of the office, there was no special feeling. I just felt-- Oh. I did it.
Maybe I have too much on my mind these few weeks to even experience the 'thrill' or sorrow of leaving a job I still love and once tried so hard to get.
I'm still on antibiotics; still have to go back to the clinic to take another urine sample on Monday; take a flight out Monday night, and worry all along the way if I can clear it this time round.
Just let me process one thing at a time please.
Today, I tendered my resignation.
Yawn
It's 0302hr now here in Saigon, or Ho Chih Min City to be politically correct.
First, and last, time here at the new crew hotel. Room's definitely bigger than all the hotel rooms that I've stayed in. And I'm using free internet in the crew lounge, with free Pepsi and 7-Up. Nice.
Reached after midnight, took a shower; went to the 24-hour restaurant, had a spaghetti; went up to the crew lounge; still here.
Need A Streak Of Good Luck
Got a call this morning-- there's some problem with my medical checkup.
... ...
Am I really so weak or unhealthy??
Am put on some antibiotics and will need to return for a follow-up next Friday when I'm back from my flight.
Maybe it's better for me to find a job that doesn't require any medical checks.
I need some good luck.
Just The Song For This Rainy Season
叶子叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐的遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
Giving Credit
When I first told people about the new job that I'm going to go into, their first reaction is-- "Oh, so you're the one that's waving those flags in front of the plane huh."
NO.
NO. NO. NO.
For the record-- they're called Aircraft Marshallers.
Although both our jobs are very similar--- we direct the pilots when the aircrafts are in our airspace; the jobscope is totally different. For me-- we work with radars, high-tech equipment, and just a lot of radio communications. For them-- they communicate with pilots visually on ground.
Here's the 'official' description of Marshallers: "On airports, the marshaller signals the pilot to keep turning, slow down, stop, and shut down engines, leading the aircraft safely to its parking stand or, in some cases, to the runway.
On aircraft carriers or helipads, marshallers also have the ability to give take-off and landing clearances to aircraft and helicopters, where the very limited space and time between take-offs and landings makes radio communications a difficult alternative."
Here's some basic signals that they use.
The next time you see them, please don't call them 'those guys with the stupid flags and earmuffs'. They work with beacons, not flags. And most importantly, without them, the aircraft might not block-in precisely and safely. Maybe from now on, you might want to stop laughing when you see them working on the runway, cos they're contributing to the safety of the flight which you'll be on.
Their job is definitely not easy, and they deserve much more credit than they receive.
What's Their Problem??!!
For those ladies out there who's dreaming about getting a pilot as their bf or husband, here's a little advice-- Unless you're confident that you have a bigger and stronger ego than theirs, walk away.
I just had a lousy flight back to Singapore, all thanks to the captain of that flight. And the cause? Soup.
... ...
Yes. Soup. A pack of instant miso soup to be exact.
Details: The catering staff will load separate lunch boxes for the flight deck crew on every flight. And the cabin crew will have to serve them when they request for their meals.
It's my first time in Upper Deck duty for that specific flight route and (ok, this part is my fault) I didn't notice that there's a pack of miso soup in the lunch boxes. On the pacific routes, lunch boxes are well, lunch boxes.
I served the captain the box with the miso soup still intact. He called back a while later and requested for SOUP. I thought he wanted soup to go along with his meal. Fine. I went down to First and Business Class and brought him SOUP.
He then called to my in-charge, complaining that he wanted the soup that came along with the lunchbox. Also, he mentioned that he did tell me he just wanted hot water so that he can mix the soup himself, but I didn't do it.
Huh?
I'm not superb in the language, but I can understand HOT WATER if someone is to ask me for it.
~ Deep breaths ~
After some time, it's the co-pilot that got hungry. My in-charge was doing inflight sales duty and I had to go downstairs to take some service items. No one was in the galley to answer his call. And they just couldn't wait.
The flight deck called the main deck crew and demanded that some one go to Upper Deck, and get the co-pilot his meal. TWICE.
So 2 poor things from the main deck scrambled up to Upper Deck and prepared the lunchbox.
Case closed? Fat hope. When they went into the cockpit to serve the meal, the captain complained about him missing his soup earlier. AGAIN.
... ...
Ladies, you sure you want to get attached to a man who thinks he's King just because he takes home a nice fat cheque every month? You sure you want to be ordered around just becuase 'his job is so damn important and prestigious'? You sure you want to be No.2 FOREVER?
I told you all I hate rich people. And now-- especially those who would make a big fuss over SOUP. Instant ones even.
Damn them.
简简单单
有朋友问我-- 新的一年，我会谈恋爱吗？
天啊，他们会希望我怎么答？这个‘状况’并不是我可以解决的啊~
我没有刻意逃避，却也没有刻意为自己制造机会。因为我相信，是我的，迟早会来到我身边；不是我的，就算我追到鞋子都破了，他也不会回头对我笑的。
有人说，是我的要求太高了。是吗？
我要的，是一个在我累的时候，愿意握着我的手，告诉我，他的肩膀让我靠的人。
我要的，是一个当我在彷徨时，真诚的说他支持我所做的决定的人。
我要的，是一个，当周遭的人都在怀疑我时，很肯定的说他相信我的人。
这些要求，算高吗？
或许，我是自私的。因为我不敢也不能保证，我要求别人的，我自己可以做到。
连对自己都没办法坦白了，我还凭什么要别人对我有百分百的信任呢？
说真的，这么自私的我，真的值得让人疼爱吗？
Just Some Thoughts
Time for New Year Resolutions.
Me? I thought of writing some down but gave up before I begun.
There's so much I want, like more money, more free time, more this, more that. But then I realised-- I want them; but not necessarily NEED them.
I have everything dear to my heart with me-- my family, my closest girl-friends, a nice job, and my room to rot in when too lazy to go anywhere (which is rather often).
You can say that I'm not ambitious enough. Everyone should set higher standards for themselves to achieve once their current ones have been met.
That was what I felt last year. I have a comfortable job in my company-- If I continue to work and be satisfied, I can take home a nice salary every month, with ample rest days, and lead a lifestyle most girls my age will envy.
But still, I get upset and jealous when I heard about people from other airlines flying to fabulous destinations and taking home a fatter salary. For a big part of 2006, I was feeling jealous, unsatisfied, annoyed, unappreciated, and just... unhappy.
Slowly, I realised-- even if I do make it to the other airlines where I hear about the better welfare and pay, I might not be happy. Cos I'll start comparing myself to some other strangers again. The vicious cycle will just return and bother me.
I'm not saying now that I won't have a word of complaint when I get into my new job next month. On the contrary, I think I'll be cursing every now and then about how badly I'm treated and what should be improved.
I can't and won't stop myself from venting out any unhappiness because it's all part of life. And in life, some people stop to curse for so long they forgot to move on. I won't want to be one of them.
Most people should be grateful for what they have with them.
I am.
Funny Little Thing
Thanks to RJ, I got to know of a new person in the last week of 2006, Mr. M.
Here's something he said that was rather funny--
"When guys see their guy-friend's gf, they think-- 'That's a nice girl. I should get somebody like her.'
When girls see their gal-friend's bf, they think-- 'That's a nice guy. I should get him.' "
Hey ladies, don't shoot me.
And Mr. M, good luck with your checklist.
第一个微笑
2006年，你辛苦了。
2007年的第一个微笑， 我要把它送给自己。
没有人告诉我，没关系。因为我知道-- 微笑的我是最美丽的!
First Day Of 2007
Watched the countdown on TV; munched on some chocolate chips; and did a little spring-cleaning.
Got 2 calls from people who dialled the wrong number. Within an hour. Advice-- Pls dial with caution.
Looking forward to the rest of the day, and the rest of the year.
Happy new year, everybody.
