Lazy Afternoon with a Hot Coffee

Dumb Stuff on Flights 2

Let's continue...

Now all of you are fed, WE can take a short break and pass around some toys and useless plastic that kids think are fun. A fellow crew once joked-- "Now you're the kids' hero!!" Do I WANT to be the kids' hero? NO. Do I care if they have anything other than their parents to keep them entertained for the rest of the flight? NO. What do I care? Simple: Just make sure they don't hang their potato legs out into the aisle or try to win the Inflight Arm-Flinging Competition.

Some of you go to the loo for obvious reasons-- to pee and poo. But wait! At the critical moment when you think your hose is about to sprinkle, you can't find the loo! You're at the end part of the plane, and you're desperate. You look around, and bingo! There's the WC sign right in front of your eyes. As usual, you start pushing to gain access to the secret chamber. It's stuck! Oh no, the hose is feeling a little leaky now. (Guess someone turned on the tap.)
You see me walking towards you, and suddenly the bimbo you thought I was a few minutes ago now has a crown of light around her. Yes! Help has arrived. (And in this case it comes in the form of a human being who has just served over 150 economy-class cannibals, and she's not exactly in a pleasant mood.)
You're just one step away from BEGGING me to tell you how to get that door open. (Yes, beg me and I'll tell you.) Do some more inflight exercise and open those eyelids of yours wider-- you'll see that there's a 'PUSH' sign right under the WC sign. Just push there and the secret chamber will appear. I hope you don't need a wand like Harry Potter to open that.

Some incidents are pure DUMB; some are simply Embarassing. And who caused it? You yourself. I know you paid for the air ticket and got your butt a seat on this flight. Yes, I know the airline emphasizes on excellent inflight comfort, and that includes the heavily processed 'airline food' and drinks. If you ask nicely enough, I might get you that cup of water you SO needed. It's free, so you decided to ask for a beer the next time. By the time YOU call ME to bring YOU a second item, my face would be displaying a color other than that of my blusher.
I can reject your request based on the arguement that you might be drinking a bit too much and for your own health considerations, it's better to have some water. That's the 'official' way of telling a Pax--"Just because the liquor is free doesn't mean that you have to clear out the drawers for us."
Most of the time though, I just let the Pax have as much liquor as they like. Why? Simple-- it's always entertaining to see grown-ups stagger and mumble idiotic stuff and start behaving in a totally barbaric manner. Being able to drink and being able to hold it are 2 different things. It's my free lesson for all onboard today!

I'll take another break here. Have to prepare for a flight tomorrow. Any more dumb stuff (or rather people) this time? You bet. It's just-- how much more.

posted by A Lone Fighter @ 10:21 PM