The Journey Continues
Last work cycle was terrible. I got Ds for almost every session I did. Don't ask me why.
The whole time, I just felt like only half my attention is there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not placing those aircrafts and passengers in deliberate risks, but I just can't seem to be in full control 100%.
My mind seems to be taking a tour somewhere else-- some place nice, with plenty of fresh air and no egoistic jerks around.
2 guys from my previous batch just passed and got their licence. Congrats to them.
I got to know from a couple of sources that some senior persons in the job considers me the best trainee so far. Thanks, but no thanks. Maybe that comment started from one person and it got wider. It's not good. I can just see some other controllers gossiping 'What? Her? You serious? Like that also called best trainee in live traffic ah?'
I'm hard to please. I don't like it when people throw their weight around just because they've been in the job longer; neither do i appreciate positive comments targeted at me.
If this is a journey, the path is filled with shattered glass and there's mud puddles everywhere just waiting for you to step on or fall into.
It's tough, and I still don't see the light at the end. If there's any at all.
What Exactly Is Wrong
No mood to blog. Training's been alright and survivable lately, so I shall not complain too much and make my life more miserable just because of those egoistic jerks up there in the tower.
It's my eye pimple problem. Went for a small surgery, thought it'll be solved. But apparently, the recovery is not as I expected.
I still have a slight lump, and redness. Please don't ask me why. I have no freaking idea also.
Upset. Very upset.
天空
很多人都会说：寻找一片属于自己的天空。
说真的，有那么容易吗？就算找到了那片天，是只属于你自己的吗？
你的天空，是晴天，还是雨天？谁说雨天不漂亮？
我喜欢雨天。
小兵生涯--第一个月纪录
开始实习训练快一个月了。这一个月过得平平淡淡，却也惊涛骇浪。
平平淡淡：
每天上班，在控制塔里除了被训话，就是被不断洗脑。学校里学的那一派在这里不被照单全收，有时还会被怀疑。说真的，在学校读得那么辛苦都不知道最后值不值得。
Schedule：
上班、被训
下班
上班、被念
下班
休假日因为太累/天气太热/人潮太多而懒得出门
休假日结束、后悔没出去呼吸新鲜空气
上班、被训...
惊涛骇浪：
在控制塔里，总是会遇到一些“我资历比你久所以你一定要听我的”同事。跟他们一起工作，简直就像在地雷区里走动一样：明知道处处惊险，却没地方躲。有句话说--职场如战场，但是我战场上的敌人不是外来者，而是我军的‘同僚’呀...
上星期，在MSN上和我的同学聊了起来，可说是‘同是天涯沦落人’。
1）公司规定--不够一定资历，不能带训练生。‘老牌师兄’有时难免供不应求。很多时候，想try a control position却不能。整体的训练进度真是一波三折~~
2）在那些‘老牌师兄’里，就是会有几个和我们不知是八字不合还是命格相冲的。老兵爱唠叨，小兵没耐性；老兵爱摆出‘我是老大’的姿态，小兵不吃这一套。
每当你做一个决定，下一个口令，就有一堆善意/恶意/没意义的反应。说真的，在这种绑手绑脚的训练环境，不知道我们这批小兵会有几个能躲开无数的口头炸弹，成功成为一名精兵。
一个月没有化妆和隐形眼镜的日子
从14岁配戴隐形眼镜开始，它就像是我出门必备的饰品。久而久之，习惯变成了需要，成了“没有会死”的物品。
在记忆中，这十年来，我还没有像这回一样，“抛弃”隐形眼镜长达一个多月。如果你现在一边读，一边在想：“为什么她不可以带contact lenses？”的话，我会很伤心/难过/失望，因为我身边的朋友及同事都应该知道原因啊。就算你是“新来的”，也会读到我上一篇文章吧。
原因：右下眼皮几个星期前生了针眼，却久久未愈。前前后后看了4个医生，终于在星期四动了小手术，把问题部分给切除掉。长这么大，第一次“进医院动手术”；第一次缝针。
这一个多月来，每天上班时都戴着眼睛，刚开始有许多不习惯与不自在，感觉上，自信少了，走在路上也不会希望有帅哥路过。过了一两个星期，变得不那么在乎了。每天出门前，不必化妆、不必特意整理头发，可以说是“自暴自弃”；说得好听一点，是“回归自然面貌”。
一个月没有那些让女人变漂亮的辅助品，有一些解脱的轻松。原来，之前我觉得非常重要的东西，是可以省略的。
自信，不一定要靠脸上的彩妆；抬头挺胸，不容易，却也很简单。
Getting A Day Surgery And A Stitch
Leaving the house soon, to a hospital to get my eye pimple solved.
Long stinky story. To put it simply, I have an appointment with and eye specialist to get rid of the lump of flesh/tissue caused by the eye pimple.
Really crossing my fingers and hoping that everything will go well and I can look like before.
